It doesn't feel like months have passed but each day that goes by it is a little harder to come back and think about typing. It almost like writing in my journal. I used to try to "catch up" on what has happened but then realized that it didn't really matter! I just need to write and talk about this moment. I have been reading, knitting, working, painting but not much cleaning.
I have been having a blogger life but without the blog. Does anyone else feel that way sometimes? I've made some recipes from books and blogs (from Pinterest for extra points!) but no pictures or any proof. I've been organizing our time and chores with pretty planners and lists. I have even started an inspiration board.
So why the need to share it with the web world? That is the struggle in my head right now. Does it mean more if I share it? Am I only doing it so that it can be shared? Am I looking for the validation? I'm an introvert and do not feel the need to share much so where does this desire come from? I wasn't very interested in being part of the popular group then or now.
I am also the recovering perfectionist that wonders why do something if it isn't the best out there. Which is really ridiculous. Sometimes I just need to do the best that I can do and respect that it will get better with time. I've been painting recently and struggle with how I want it to look and that it won't be perfect. But I constantly remind myself that it will get better over time and it's the process, not the end result. I was reminded of this when Kelly Rae posted a picture of one of her first paintings. It was better than mine but still not at the level she is producing now. If I am kind to other's attempts then I need to do the same to myself.
So all these reasons to justify my actions but I just have to remember to show up and put the time in.